Mexican Stuffed Bell Peppers

We tried something different last night, and I thought I would pass it along in case you are also in a food slump. I'm not a great cook, nor very adventurous, but for once winging it payed off! Here's what we did:

Mexican Stuffed Bell Peppers

Serves 6 people (yup, I made way too much but hopefully it will be good leftovers).

6 bell peppers, cored and rinsed (we used the sweet ones because that's what we had)
1/2 to 1 lb seasoned ground beef or chicken, cooked.*
1 cup of Spanish rice, cooked**
Shredded cheese
Black beans or refried beans (optional, we're going to add next time)
Salsa or diced tomatoes

We layered the ingredients in each bell pepper and then cooked in the oven for 30 minutes at 400 degrees. I put a tiny bit of chicken broth in the bottom of the dish to try to keep them from getting too dry, but I don't know if it made a difference.

Remove from oven, serve with sour cream and guacamole if you're into that, and enjoy!


*I ended up cooking a whole pound of taco meat and two chicken breasts so it's hard to say, but I could see how this would be a good way to use up leftover taco meat too. We had some of both meats left over.
**We make Spanish/Mexican rice an easy way. Boil 1/2 cup of chicken broth, 1/2 cup of salsa and then add 1 cup of minute rice. Not authentic, but still tasty!

Threads of Hope, Pieces of Joy Bible Study: Week 3

Walking With You is an outreach of Sufficient Grace Ministries, led by Kelly Gerken. We are a group of mothers who have lost a baby or child. We gather together from different places on our journey, each month to share our stories, to encourage, and pray for one another as we walk this path together. Our hope is that you will be comforted when you join us here...and maybe that we can offer some grace for the journey as we look to the Lord for comfort and strength.  

I'm really behind on this study, but I'm committed to finishing it, even if it's well after the nine weeks are over. I'll be honest, this study has made me do a lot of "soul searching" and dealing with the emotions that came with losing Ethan. I'm trying to be open and honest, but I also need to guard my heart, particularly regarding what I put out here for all to see. Bear with me as I figure out what that balance is.


Lesson four (week 3) is about anger. If you read the last lesson, you know that anger was an unexpected emotion for me when it came to dealing with Ethan's passing. Not because I thought I was above it, but I think it was because in the beginning I felt so secure in the providence of it, if that makes sense. Too many things were in place about when we lost him that it was hard to deny God's involvement. As time has passed it is something I have been working on, so this lesson is timely.

One of the things that I have learned along the way is that anger is not a sin, it's how we respond/express it. I can't say that it's how I always felt, but when I did realize it,  it was a relief to know that feeling angry wasn't inherently wrong. Ephesians 4:26-27 talks about dealing with anger and what not to let it do:"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, ²⁷and do not give the devil a foothold." (NIV). The study breaks down anger into three categories: anger with myself, anger with others, and anger with God. 

As far as others go, I have struggled with how losing Ethan has changed my relationships with others. Let's face it, friendships are much harder when life gets hard, and sometimes others can't handle it. The changes/distances in friendships was a loss I wasn't prepared for and has been an adjustment. I haven't admitted it to many, but I doubt it's an unusual occurrence with baby loss. I have said before that my gut response has been to internalize things and pull back some from others too, so I know I'm not exactly easy. I've also said before that I have to be careful not to put too much pressure on relationships, or expect too much out of others. This is definitely an area that is a work in progress and I'm working on forgiving and being compassionate (Ephesians 4:31-32, 1 Peter 3:9).

Anger with myself, has been something I've been dealing with as well. Some of it is tied to the fact that it was a maternal illness (preeclampsia and HELLP) that caused Ethan's death. It's hard not to think back on all the possible signs of what was to come, and also knowing that if we get pregnant again, we also have no guarantees. I don't always like the way I've changed either, and I think we can be our worst critics in general. I'm working on allowing myself grace as well. The verse that sticks out from this section is Psalm 139:15-16. It's not a new scripture to me, but it is a reassurance when I begin to worry about how things could have been different (... All the days ordained for [Ethan] were written in your book before one of them came to be.)

Anger with God is hard to admit sometimes. I think for the most part, my anger has been directed more towards the situation, rather than God. In most ways, I think this past year has drawn us closer to Him. My perspective on Heaven is more real, and I can look forward to that day. The sacrifice God made in giving up His son for us and the anguish of that choice is something I can grasp better than I did. I can't imagine having to make that choice, but I think I can relate a bit more to it's severity. Something else a friend and I were talking about the other day, is that I think I have a better perspective now on my relationship with God (a broader scope) than I did before. God doesn't have to answer our prayers the way we wanted Him to in order to be faithful. Do I know why we struggled with fertility, were blessed with Ethan for 29 weeks, and then had to give him back? Why we had to deal with losing Ethan across the country from friends and family? Nope, and I don't think I probably will understand it on this side of Heaven. I may want to, but I don't need to understand. Does that make sense? There is comfort in knowing He is omniscient and is in control even if my finite mind doesn't always understand.