Walking With You is an outreach of Sufficient Grace Ministries, led by Kelly Gerken. We are a group of mothers who have lost a baby or child. We gather together from different places on our journey, each month to share our stories, to encourage, and pray for one another as we walk this path together. Our hope is that you will be comforted when you join us here...and maybe that we can offer some grace for the journey as we look to the Lord for comfort and strength.
This month for Walking With You, we are starting something new. We will be going through the Threads of Hope, Pieces of Joy Bible Study for the next nine weeks. Even if you have not joined us previously, I hope you will join us for this. All are welcome. My prayer is that it will bring hope and much-needed encouragement to hearts that are grieving.
So, can I just admit that this bible study, along with reading Beth Moore's "So Long Insecurity" has really challenged me? I feel like I'm being stretched, which is a great thing, but man it's not comfortable ;). Processing how it all applies to my life has literally worn me out, but it's made me take an honest look at myself and where I am. Without further ado... Lesson 3 is all about Grief and the different ways people experience and handle it.
I have read Job before, but I hadn't delved too deeply in all the different reactions Job had to his losses. And, as odd as it sounds, I appreciated that the authors had you write things out. It helped me look back and truly see the variations, just something about actually writing something down. This lesson also discussed the different stages of grief, and asked tough (to me at least) questions about where we are in our grief. Honestly, I needed to think about that because though I'm not in denial anymore about losing Ethan, I've been stagnant lately. My way of coping is often to just not talk about it, but I know that isn't helping. I also have to admit that lately I've been dealing with anger. I'm not a naturally angry person, so this one is a new one for me. Hopefully this stage passes quickly =). Going through the questions was a good way to take an assessment of where I am.
Two scriptures stuck out to me, perhaps because they are about restoration. First Peter is comforting to me because I often struggle with trying to deal with everything myself. I need to work on dealing with my anxieties better and remember that I don't have to carry them. The scripture from Romans is a great promise as well, it's something you've seen me reference before. I don't know that the good always comes this side of Heaven (something a friend and I were actually taking about, any thoughts?), but I do believe it will come.
1 Peter 5:6-11 (New International Version): 6Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 8Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. 10And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.
Romans 8:28 (New International Version):28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,[a] who[b] have been called according to his purpose.(both references from biblegateway.com)
So there you have it, my honest reflection (ugliness and all). Grief is not always pretty, but I'm glad we don't have to grieve without hope!
5 comments:
I didn't see anything ugly in this post...just a beautiful mama's heart! Job is an amazing book. I spent so much time there during my pregancy with Thomas. I wanted to know how it was done. How does a parent walk through such a loss and honor God? How does someone survive and go on? What should it look like? Will it ever be O.K. again?
Job shows us the agony of grief, what it looks like to trust God while still asking "Why". We also see how others react to someone in Job's position of grief and suffering...both the good and the bad.
You know, it is quite "normal" to be in a stage where you get a little stagnant and just don't want to talk about it. There were years when I avoided anything that even dealt with grief. It was many years from the time of our losses until we started this ministry. And, during those years...I just needed to work through a lot of things.
I'm so glad you are allowing the Lord to speak to you through these studies...allowing yourself to be stretched and look places that are hard to look. God is faithful...and He will meet you where you are.
You mentioned feeling some anger...I remember those feelings well myself...and I'm kind of looking forward to delving into the scriptures for next week's anger topic. I think that many people deal with this on some level. You mentioned that grief isn't always pretty...and you are right. It can be downright messy! And that's o.k. Because our God makes beauty from the ashes!
Thanks so much for sticking with this...even when it is hard. God will bless you for it. He always does have something to offer to our hurting hearts when we come to Him. And, He is always ready for us to come...just as we are.
Love and prayers,
Kelly
I think there are a lot of things that won't happen this side of Heaven Cecilia. There definitely won't be answers to all the questions we have, but I do think there will be some good. I do think that as you process through your grief and allow God to use you, you will experience His goodness and it will help you heal. That's been my experience in times of grief and healing. But I do agree that the ultimate "good" for Christians IS Heaven....the absolute best this world has to offer won't even begin to measure up to what is simply "good" in Heaven. Thank you for sharing your journey with us and allowing us to love you through it.
I sitll have to link mine up! I'm so behind!!!
I like reading from Job b/c it talks so much of suffering.
Anger is definitely one of the more trying parts of grief. A therapist that led a support group I joined for bereaved parents said that we should honor our feelings, even anger, because it is a form of protecting ourselves. I think the thing is that we need respect our feelings, work through them, and just not get stuck in them.
Thank you for sharing. This bible study has definitely stretched me, as well. The verse you shared from Peter is one that speaks to me more and more each time I see it. I look forward to the day he will restore us.
-crystal theresa @ Blessed to Be Broken
I like what you say about the good from our pain not necessarily coming until heaven. Another thing I've recently heard is that verse 29 (etc) goes right along with verse 28, in that He is transforming us into the likeness of His Son through our pain (etc.) And maybe sometimes the "good" that comes from it is more than just one thing, maybe there are several good things for us and our loved ones. I can't see much of that right now, though. So I can at least hold on to heaven.
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