Trust His Heart

I've had this song pop up in my mind several times lately, so I thought I would share. It's a older song by Babbie Mason called Trust His Heart. Does anyone else remember this song?

All things work for our good
Though sometimes we don't see how they could
Struggles that break our hearts in two
Sometimes blind us to the truth
Our Father knows what best for us
His ways are not our own
So when your pathway grows dim
And you just don't see Him
Remember you're never alone

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His heart
Trust His heart

He sees the master plan
And He holds our future in His hand
So don't live as those who have no hope
All our hope is found in Him
We see the present clearly
But He sees the first and the last
And like a tapestry
He's weaving you and me
To someday be just like Him

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His heart
Trust His heart

He alone is faithful and true
He alone knows what is best for you

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His heart
Trust His heart


When you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His heart
Trust His heart

We went to Cornell while my Mom was here to pick up Brian and see the waterfall on campus. I was excited when there was a rainbow too, if you look close you can see it.

One Month

My life seems full of extremes these days. One moment I'm feeling grateful that we were able to bury Ethan in Georgia. Other times I'm upset because I can't go see him. I'm happy to be in Ithaca so that Brian and I can be together, but I am so far away from all my other friends and family and miss them terribly. I am proud to be Ethan's Mom, but feel teased to have gone through 2 years of trying for a baby and issues at the beginning of the pregnancy to have lost him.

If you have known me for long, you know how much Brian and I have wanted to be parents. It was almost two years before Brian and I were able to get pregnant and we were so excited. We had complications in the beginning and I was put on medication. We began to relax as the weeks passed and we had positive appointments. What a blessing at 19 weeks to get to see him through the ultrasound. We made it to 29 weeks. I remember having a conversation with a friend the week before about how I was finally feeling at ease because if he was born now he could survive. I had no idea things like this could happen.

Right or wrong, I feel betrayed. I miss my sweet baby. When we left Texas I was going to spend the next 11 weeks preparing for his arrival. We had saved so that I could stay home with him once we moved to Ithaca. Brian has been in Ithaca since mid-May and I came last week with my Mom. It's a bittersweet thing to be here. I am glad to be together with Brian, but my purpose here has changed. I am a Mom, but my baby isn't here. In my head I know that he isn't on his way and that I won't get to stay home with him, but I don't think my heart has grasped that yet.

We will be scheduling a doctor's appointment once we receive Brian's insurance information and I am anxious to have a better understanding of where my health is at and what it means for the future. Please pray for us as the reality of all that has happened sinks in and we work on dealing with it together.