An update of sorts

I can't post pictures because I have exceeded my limit (sad day!), so this one will be without my sweet girl's face. She has gotten so big and it is amazing to see how much she has changed. Being with her everyday I don't think I always appreciate all the changes, but we were looking back at old pictures and videos and the difference is night and day.

Overall our family is doing fairly well. We bought a house in June and absolutely love our neighbors. It finally feels like we have connections here which is always a hard thing for me when we move. We are in the process of joining our church (it is more involved than what I'm used to, but that's not necessarily a bad thing) and I'm hoping we can be more involved. Brian still loves his job and enjoys having a research group and teaching. I am still working from home for the same company, though I'm working more full time hours lately. Knoxville is a great little city and we are happy to call it home.

Health-wise we've struggled. Brian's mom had brain surgery in March, his grandmother had a stroke this summer and his grandfather was diagnosed with cancer. My mom was diagnosed with ALS in May and has been through more than her fair share. It was a very rough summer. We seemed to have a few decent months with no new issues and then I started having breathing/energy issues in September. I chalked it up to needing to lose weight (which I was trying to do but that's hard when you get winded really easily), but by the end of September I couldn't walk up the stairs without having to sit down because I was so winded. I started having episodes where I felt like I was going to pass out trying to cross a room and I had enough. Brian took me to the ER and luckily I got a doctor who listened to me since things occurred in sporatic episodes. He did a CT looking for a blood clot and admitted me overnight for observation. That night I went into first degree heart block and by the morning I was in complete heart block and they decided to put me in the ICU with a temporary pacemaker. I stayed on the pacemaker until Monday morning (two days) until they decided that my heart was not going to start doing things on it's own and I had surgery for a permanent one. I was discharged that week but spent the next month having all kinds of tests (blood work, CT guided lung biopsy, surgery to remove a lymph node, and a cardiac PET scan). In the end they decided I had cardiac sarcoidosis and I started a the medication to treat it and hopefully get it in remission. I may go back and do a detailed post for our memories, but that is the gist of things.

Next Tuesday (12th), I have another CT scan to decide if I am in remission and if I can stop taking the medications I am on. It has been six months and while I'm grateful for what the meds have (hopefully) done, the side effects are very strong and I'm ready to be done with them. I also love my pulmonologist, but I'd like to see him less often ;). We would like to move forward with some other areas in our life and they depend on a good result (I may explain more later if we are able to pursue it). Please pray with us that I get good results and can stop taking the medications!

Thanksgiving comparisons

Things have been hard/heavy in our lives lately, and I'm still figuring out how to handle it all. Rather than going into details, how about a silly Thanksgiving tradition?

For the past three years, we have taken HK's picture beside the turkey. It started because people had a hard time telling from pictures just how tiny she was (four pounds at the time). On her first Thanksgiving, she had just come home from the hospital the afternoon prior. This year Brian forgot about the picture and HK was ready to eat, but I still had to take one.

2012

2011

2010

Sweet reminder

A bloom on the plant that my sweet Austin co-workers sent us when we lost Ethan three years ago. I love that it is blooming in time for his birthday!

Hello world

Making faces on her favorite window.

We are ready for Spring so we can hang out outside. These wood paneled walls are closing in!

Visiting NMU

In February I had the privilege of meeting Kelly and Holly in person. They came down to visit the National Memorial for the Unborn and it was too close for me to miss. If you know me, going by myself to meet ladies I haven't met in person before was nerve-wracking for me, but I'm glad I went! It was so nice to hug the necks of ladies who were such a big support online after we lost Ethan. 

Visiting the memorial was a neat experience. It was a lot to soak in. The inside is a memorial for babies lost to abortion, there are plaques that folks have placed to honor their baby or babies. The outside has a garden to honor babies that were lost to miscarriage or stillbirth. You can purchase pavers to place in the garden in honor of your baby, hopefully we will get a paver for Ethan one day.

Kelly and I

Holly and I

Thanks Ladies for sharing your Saturday with me. It was such a blessing!

Someone's fifteen months!

Smiling and teething.

Daddy makes her laugh!

Running girl

Tiny curl

I will write about all Hannah Kate is up to this month later, but wanted to post a few pics from the park today. She is a jabbering, walking busy girl!

Christmas 2011

Here is a look at our Christmas in pictures. We were able to make a short trip home and see both sides of our family. Hannah Kate had a good time, and we enjoyed watching her participate more this year. Her news thing is shaking her head and flapping her arms when we want to take her picture, so it was entertaining trying to get a few that weren't blurry :)

Christmas Eve, before the service

Christmas Day

Walking with You

Hi friends,

Sorry I've been so absent lately! I have started a part-time job and while I love it, it's more time than I thought it would be. I wanted to jump on and invite you to participate in the Walking with You posts that Kelly from Sufficient Grace Ministries is leading. I participated after we lost Ethan and I not only learned a lot about my grief but also met a lot of wonderful ladies along the way. I am going to try and participate again too. If you have lost a baby, check out the link below for more details.

HK and Santa

Clearly she wasn't a fan so this was a quick picture before Daddy scooped her up. Santa looked the part but wasn't overly jovial (though he didn't look so grumpy in person).

We are members of our local zoo and they sent us a flyer that Santa would be there this week. Brian was able to come with us and see a few animals too. She was much more interested this time so I'm excited to go back. 

We've got so much

(Here's the pictures from 2010. She's bigger than the turkey this year!) 

so much, so much, so much, so much , so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much , so much, so much to be thankful for!!!
 

Thanksgiving 2011

Boot scootin' boogie

Or bootie scootin' boogie :).

Someone figured out a way to move around other than cruising on furniture. Look out world, she's on the loose!

(Sorry it's grainy our living room is really dark.)

Hannah Kate's Laughter

Just a little bit of giggling to make you smile. The quality isn't great because I recorded it with my phone, but it's still funny. Hannah Kate makes you work hard for her laughs, but they are worth it. We are so grateful for the joy she brings to our house!

Halloween 2011

Hannah Kate was a ballerina this year. I originally was going to make her costume but the birthday festivities took over. Luckily I found a tiny leotard at target and I couldn't pass it up. I also had to get a picture of her in the pumpkin. I saw the idea on The Mom Creative a long time ago and was excited to try it one day (admittedly she is bigger, but I still wanted to try it). She thought she was big stuff because she could stand up in it!

More birthday pics

The table

Rice Krispies

Smash cake, chocolate covered marshmallows and pretzels.

Yarn balls

Smash cake

Strawberry cupcakes (both from Sprinkledinkles and very yummy)

Cookie dough dip (recipe)

Pictures for each month of the first year and her yarn letters

Water bottles

Opening presents

Here comes the cake!

She initially was excited and then couldn't get over the goo factor. I love how the frosting looks like lipstick.

The aftermath :)

Overall I think her party was a success. I tried to stick with the colors that are also in her room so we could use the decorations again. We had so much fun with family and getting to hang out. HK even got to meet some cousins for the first time and they were so cute together. Happy birthday baby girl!!